Friday, August 31, 2007

August was a quiet month

With that thought, I decided that I'd scribble down some thoughts. Just cause. I am sometimes amazed at the power of simple things. How music can complement your mood or totally change it. How talking to friends can cheer you up. How wondering about people who you don't talk to anymore can consume your thoughts. And actually, that last one has been on my mind the past couple of days.

I had a really large group of friends at one point when I lived in Rhode Island. These people were people that I truly thought would always be there. Certainly some of them were there when I needed somebody. Perhaps, that was their purpose. And yet I still wonder some days. I still think about where they might be, might be doing. They don't seem to wonder about me though, and that makes me question things. What was the relationship really about?

I tried to look some of them up on blogs, but they were all either friends only or there was nothing current there (like posts that were from 3 and 4 years ago). Common sense would say that I should see if there's contact info somewhere, or that I should ask to added as a friend. So why don't I? I think it's mostly the nagging feeling that these are people who made no effort to maintain a friendship when I was only an hour away. What would they really be willing to do at this distance?

Maybe I'm being lazy, but part of me feels like I'm not a hard person to find. If a person wanted to find me then they could, easily. But there's been no effort made on the other side and perhaps I feel a bit slighted. It could be time to let go of the thought that these were people that really mattered.

Then on the other side there are people who do reach out. In fact, most of those people make an effort over several hundred miles and that really means something. In some cases, I can still carry on a conversation even though it's been years since we talked last. This gives me hope.

There are two months left to this year before a new one begins (according to the pagan calendar) and 4 months left to the year, according to the regular calendar. In all cases, a new start is needed. Maybe what I really need to do is make sure that all those chapters are ended before new ones open up.

Or quite possibly, I need a nap. :P

Tuesday, August 21, 2007


You know what waiting does? It gives your brain every chance to come up with any and every possible scenario from now until fifty years from now. I have far to active an imagination.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Oh, so this is normal?

My body has decided (all on its own) that it would like to function normally (so far. this could, of course, change at any moment). I am quite happy as well as largely shocked. How it came to this discovery, we may never know. My only hope is that this trend continues.

I'll be waiting to see how long normal holds out, and if it continues for the next 14 or so days then there may yet be sanity in my life. That would be novel.

The tarot reading I did earlier had Death as the present conditions card. No, that doesn't mean I'm going to die. Death represents new beginnings. My outcome card was The Moon. That's interpreted as the completion of a cycle. It would be stellar if that meant that I am starting a new cycle of life. Hopefully this cycle doesn't suck as much. Of course, there's also Halloween in a couple of months. Nothing like a celebration of the dead and new beginnings for starting over, right?

Work tomorrow. My joyous, wonderful summer is over. Upside, I now have a room of my own, for sure, no sharing or anything. Downside, new school, again. More of that starting over joy.

It's bloody brilliant I tell you! (FYI, Stardust rocks - go see it).

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Because I've nothing really new to post (and I'm a bit bored), so some word association (snagged from another blog)

Always: remember to call my mom
Average: uh, no I'm not
Annoyance: cats waking me up far to early...
Age: 30
Available: until school starts again and then I have to go work

Best Friends: Chris, Kate, Rique
Beer: Guiness might be nice, or a Sam Adams
Birthday: Dec. 26
Boast: I keep secrets (very well, I might add)

Crush: Matt Damon and Jamie McMurray (yes, I know they're both famous. What's your point?)
Car: 94 Honda Accord (I love it)
Candy: York Patties
Cry: not much in recent days, but I have been known to, yes.

Days: counting them (for numerous things)
Dream: plenty, but only a couple have actually come true so far
Dare: I'm not real big on those
Drug: metformin and advair

Easy: cooking is easy
Eggs: doesn't really matter
Email: I can be bad about replying but I like getting them
Envy: those women who get pregnant looking at men

Flavors: lime, mint, lobster, peas (not all at once though)
Favorites: books, movies, thunderstorms
Flaws: perfectionism (oh yes, it's a flaw, trust me)
Finicky: depends on what we're discussing

Grateful: I have Chris, my mom and dad, 3 brothers and a sister plus a sister-in-;aw and a brother-in-law and a rather large extended family, all of whom love me.
Gifts: I like giving them
Gum: yuck
Gross: cat barf

Hair: brown and rather defiant
Height: 5'2"
Happiest: if I had my family nearby - all of them
Hate: drama

Ice Cream: oh... something high in calories
Instrument: saxophone
Idols: Don't have one anymore, I don't think
Independence: Am I? Yes.

Jewelry: a wedding ring and a watch when I remember it
Jail: somewhere I never want to go
Jenga: that movie was awful
Jammies: are comfy.

Kids: Yes, I'd like a few
Karaoke: I don't sing in public
Kiss: my husband, quite often thanks.

Longest: month ever
Love: is wonderful
Life: precious
Lost: no, I don't think I am... (am I?)

Milk: 1%
Miss: my boys
Movies: Stardust was very good
Memory: I have lots of those

Nails: I bite them
No: I don't like that word
Name: Christy
Never: lose hope

Ordinary: my life
One phobia: falling
Office: Don't have one. It's called a classroom.

Primal urge: Um.....?
Personality: Mine? I don't know. Pretty good, I guess.
Pain: fades with time

Quick or Slow: Quiick would be nice, thanks
Quest: why are we here?

Reason to cry: my boys
Reality TV: sucks, quite frankly, except for Hell's Kitchen... Add Gordon Ramsay to the crush list.
Rage: I've experienced it
Regret: You know what? None so far.

Song: Nothing in particular
Season: Fall
Shoes: I need new sneakers
Silly: a cat with all 4 feet in the air

Time you woke: Today? 8:30
Time now: 10:14 pm
Taste: Well, I'll try almost anything once (note I said ALMOST anything)

Undress: to take a shower usually
Unpredictable: life
Unfortunate: That Harry Potter is done
Unforgettable: Several nights with people

Vegetables: peas, corn, spinach (when cooked right)
Virgin: not for awhile now
Vacation: That would be nice
Voice: Is fine, except when there are 25 kids yelling over me

Worst Habit: biting my nails
Wish: for time to slow down some days
Waste: I try not to
Wander: I've wandered quite far

X-Rated: only sometimes
X-Rays: only a few in my life (and hopefully no more)
X-Men: Rogue is cool
X-marks the spot: So where's the map?

Yes: Is that an answer to my question?
Yellow: Sunflowers
Yearn: some answers would be nice

Zoo Animal: do penguins count? if not, tigers.
Zodiac: capricorn or dragon depending on the zodiac
Zzzz: I think I'll go read for awhile first (current read, The Bourne Supremacy. Good so far)

Saturday, August 4, 2007

17P (or treating preterm labor with shots!)

So, I was digging around online, trying to find information on the progesterone that my doctor mentioned at my last visit. Apparently, it is vastly different from the progesterone that is used in early pregnancy to prevent miscarriage due to low progesterone. And there are a LOT of studies being done on this drug to see how effective it is, if it might be useful during first pregnancies, etc. Here's what I know now.

Alpha-hydroxy- progesterone caproate (17P for short), can help prevent cervical changes (specifically cervical shortening, also known as effacing, which is typically the step before dilation) when given weekly starting between 16 and 20 weeks gestation. The drug is given through an injection (although nobody mentions where... hip, arm, leg, what?). P17 also helps to relax the uterine muscles, which is also a factor in preterm labor. There was a study done by the NIH where women with previous preterm births got weekly injections and the risk was decreased by 35% (not bad!). The most recent studies, however, seem to indicate that the decrease isn't seen with multiples, only singletons.

If you want to find this stuff online, it's apparently marketed under the brand name Gestiva (I had a little more luck with that than with the chemical name).

So what this tells me is if I can manage a singleton pregnancy, we have a very good chance of carrying the baby to term (or really, really close) without a cerclage. If we get twins again, it's probably going to require a cerclage.