Saturday, January 6, 2007

Ridiculous rantings

Today is day one of adventures in clomid. Yup, day 1 is down. So far, no side effects which is excellent. Hopefully it stays that way and I don't end up a deranged lunatic. That would be bad. My brain, however, is in a sorry state.

At 9:30 I walked into the kitchen and popped my morning drugs: a prenatal, metformin, folic acid and today clomid (and the next four days but I digress).

My silly brain thinks to itself:
Hey, maybe this clomid stuff will actually work!
Heh, yeah, replies I and then we'll have a baby finally - IF it works.
Sure, sure says my brain of course it will.
Why is that, I ask?
Simple, replies my brain. You may get to go to Disney in April and of course, if you're pregnant...
Oh, I think back. No Rock N Roller Coaster or Space Mountain or Expedition Everest or Mission Space...
You got it cheers my brain.
Wait... I muse to myself. Am I really ready for this? A baby?
Bwah?? asks my brain.
Well, I mean I may fianlly get to be a swim coach at the new school. If I'm due in Sept or Oct it'd be tough to do tryouts. I mean, that's cutting it close. Real close.
True, replies my brain.
Plus there's the Disney thing I remind myself. I'd miss my favorite rides... OMFG, I'm trying to get pregnant here. WTF am I thinking???
Whoa, replies my brain, CHILL!
Self repsonds by initiating mild panic attack.

See, interesting huh? Who knew clomid could do all that? In retrospect, I am of course being silly. Besides the fact that it may or may not (and is more likely to not) work it's Disney, duh. It's not going anywhere and I can still do cool stuff like Pirates. And, if it's warm enough maybe sneak a Splash Mountain in there. I mean that's only one drop at the end. And I'd only be a little pregnant (4 months or so, presuming this works this time around).

I have calmed my brain somewhat, but I found myself wondering, is this what happens to a normal person when they find out they've actually conceived? Interesting... I've beaten the curve so I'll (hopefully) have come to peace with it by the time conception actually occurs. Sweet....

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